Morphological arrangement of images

Morphological Psychology addresses the mind as having typical basic proportions. Every human being has an unique basic proportion. „Such a basic proportion sets itself into work as arrangement of images, as a complete world of affects […]“ (Grootaers 2010, 51). Psychotherapeutic work aims less at the treatment of patients (or even diagnoses), but at grasping and working through arrangement of images.“[…] a general basic proportion typical for the concrete case [is, R.L.] elaborated […]“ (ibid., 51). ¹

Grootaers refers to Wilhelm Salber, the developer of psychological morphology, who expressed that the mind is constantly searching for an image of itself [emphasis in original] (Grootaers 2010, 52). These entities have the characteristic of building worlds (ibid., 52). “And by generating worlds, these entities come to themselves and push therein toward their own transformation […]“ (ibid., 52). And he continues: „Everything that comes to our mind is thus to be perceived as a manifest fragment of an image that breaks out of a comprehensive image of the mind [emphasis in original] “ (ibid., 52).‌‌

Methodical variations serve as conveyed intermediate steps to put the phenomena of the images into words. Coherent naming initiates the transformation (ibid., 65). These processes are hard and require courage (ibid., 53 – 65).

Thus, one can state that Corona encountered a pre-existing individual arrangement of images. The requirement of distancing was and is a great challenge. In my environment, I perceived it – in person or online – as a considerable burden. When burdens arise, thinking about the so-called work- life balance raises the question of resources. This question is an aspect of self-care.

Self-care

People in the caring professions are used to taking care of others. It is easy to lose sight of one’s own well-being and needs. However, professionalism is not only reflected in giving adequate attention to others, but also in (giving) loving attention to oneself. Self-care is important because it contributes to long-term health and the ability to work.

Surprisingly, relatively little seems to have been published on self-care by music therapists in the German-speaking world. Examples are the publications by Hoffmann (2015) and Back and Haffa- Schmidt (2019). In English-speaking countries, the situation is different – Clements-Cortes (2013, Fowler (2016), Gooding (2019), Hills et al. (2000), Kilham and van Dort (2019), Rowley (2021), Sutton (2002), Trondalen (2016) and Vega (2010), among others, have published.

Are we to conclude that music therapists in Germany are doing so well that dealing with professional stress and self-care are superfluous issues? Probably not.

Music therapists work in areas where they are dealing with the, sometimes serious, illnesses of their patients. In addition, they are often part of a health system that in many areas is placing exaggerated emphasis on economics over well-being. Work overload, lack of appreciation, secondary traumatization etc. can lead to long-term exhaustion, somatic illnesses or depression.

But what exactly is meant by self-care? Luise Reddemann answers the question: „I understand it as a loving, appreciative, mindful and compassionate way of dealing with myself and taking my needs seriously“ (Reddemann 2006, 565).² Her colleague Joachim Küchenhoff elaborates: „Self-care means the ability to deal well with oneself, to be good to oneself, to protect oneself and look after oneself, to take one’s own needs into account, to assess stresses correctly, not to demand too much from oneself or to remain alert to overload” (Küchenhoff 1999, 151).

Early relational experiences are of great importance for the development of a self-caring attitude. Bion, Winnicott and Fonagy and colleagues have described exactly what is required in early childhood relationships with significant caregivers, for the child to feel held (and cared for). This experience is internalised and enables the capacity for self-care (Bion 2002; Winnicott 2008; Bateman and Fonagy 2009).

Although early relational experiences are formative, it is important to strive to maintain a self- caring attitude throughout life. Needs in the course of life are subject to change, so self-care must also change (cf. Küchenhoff 1999, p. 161f.).

To improve self-care as an adult, there are various methodological approaches, among them apps like Happify or Shine. Certainly, these can be of help to some. But it should not be underestimated that a self-care attitude can also be learned and improved in relationship in adulthood. Küchenhoff writes that the struggle for self-care is not a solitary feat. „Self-care – in psychological development as well as in the presence of an adult – is tied to relational experiences and relational opportunities“ (ibid., p. 162).

Almost everyone has experienced, at one time or another, how it feels to live and work on the edge of fatigue and exhaustion – and how difficult it sometimes is, especially then, to ask oneself the (honest) question: How do I deal with myself? What do I allow myself to do? What about my self- care? (Incidentally, this is a question that patients in psychotherapeutic treatment are asked quite often.)

Possibilities for self-care in the profession are through super- and inter-vision. Also informal collegial meetings in which work (or private matters) are reflected upon together.

Teaching therapy is also invaluable in preparing for the profession. It can help to understand one’s own psychogenesis and to become aware of psychological mechanisms of one’s own way of life. Here, the latent motivation for the choice of profession could then also be understood. One aspect could be the so-called ‚helper syndrome‘, going back to Schmidbauer (1992). Anna Freud reports on the defence mechanism of altruistic abdication, in which caring for others, for example, arises from the longing to care for oneself (Freud 2006, pp. 121-131). König’s observation that depressive structures are more frequently found among members of social professions points towards a similar direction. „The characteristics of such a structure include a tendency to stand up for others while putting one’s own interests aside“ (König 2006, p. 173).

An equally important topic for teaching therapy with music therapists is musical socialisation as part of biography. Referring to therapists working with GIM³, Kilham and van Dort write: „They […] have a deep love for the music itself and know how important it is in their own lives“ (Kilham and van Dort 2019, p. 670).

I think this idea can be applied to all music therapists. The love of music can also be ambivalent, as music therapists may also have had difficult experiences in the context of music making. Examples of this are pressure to perform when learning an instrument and certain pieces of music that are connected with significant or upsetting experiences or relationships.

However, once the earlier experiences and their meanings have been worked through, it is much easier to perceive and understand transference events during the therapeutic work. These occur not only between patient and therapist, but also from patient to music and therapist to music (cf. Kilham and van Dort 2019, p. 665). If the transference and also counter-transference events are conscious, they can facilitate the therapist’s understanding of the patient, which may then guide the interventions. It is also easier for the therapist to act in a self-caring way, for example if something remains undigested after the session. Here, music (improvising or listening to) can help to achieve clarification or processing for oneself (cf. Kilham and van Dort 2019, p. 670).

For many music therapists, music has such strong libidinal cathexis that creating and listening to music are important self-care aspects. Many enjoy singing in the choir, playing in the orchestra, or going to concerts – here is experiencing music with others as a resource.

In terms of music as a self-object, sometimes a self-care action for music therapists can be to allow oneself to keep certain music private, which has its own strong cathexis, and not bring it into the clinical set-up (cf. Kilham and van Dort 2019, p. 670).

Self-care for music therapists in times of Corona?

Comments from colleagues about their stress levels during the pandemic made me think about the issue of self-care. At that time, distancing rules were already an integral part of everyday life.

Experiences with meetings, team meetings and therapies and family conversations and celebrations with friends via the internet had already been made. Some were surprised to find that online contact was different, but not fundamentally ineffective. Patients who continued their therapy online for a period of time found it supportive.

Studies prove this assessment with regard to psychotherapy. Already in 2012, Backhaus, Agha, Maglione et al. found that online therapy can lead to good results. Regarding Corona, there is a more recent study that confirms this result. It refers to behavioural therapy, but is certainly transferable (Thomas et al. 2021). A third study deals with the relationship between patient and therapist in online therapy. This study also comes to a positive conclusion, but points out that the computer must be considered as „the invisible third party“ (Cataldo et al. 2021).

In online music therapy, the reception of music turned out to be quite feasible. Zoom seems to be the software program that is easy to use and offers a pretty good quality of music during playback. Initial security gaps have since been closed (Sanfi 2019, p. 609).

It is true that there are offerings that anyone can use as a resource for themselves that use music. One example is music pieces preceded by an introduction, which can be found on youtube.

Listening to the induction and music is said to support healing in „mild to moderate progression“ of corona disease (Lawes 2020).⁴ My thoughts went a different direction. Based on the experience of the distancing regulations, I wanted to offer a space for experiencing being in relationship and connectedness. The following three aspects seemed obvious to me.

The connectedness with oneself through:

• tracing the burdens and resources concerning Corona, but also other individual issues
• staying with the drawing of the mandala
• noticing unpleasant feelings, but also feeling and strengthening resourcesThe connectedness with music through
• listening to and remembering well-known pieces of music or
• getting to know unknown pieces of music
• enjoying the musicThe connectedness to others:
• listening to music with others
• sharing the experience with others

The course of action was planned as follows: All participants come together on Zoom. After an induction a piece of music is being listened to. Then there is time to sketch the experience with wax crayons. The resulting drawing serves as a point of reference to discuss the experience afterwards. The sequence of induction, listening to music, sketching and sharing is being repeated a second time. An exchange with everyone rounds off the session.

The time frame is 90 minutes. The maximum number of participants is determined at twelve.

Explanation:

All elements are borrowed from the Receptive Music Therapy method of music-imagination based on GIM (The Bonny Method of Guided Imagery and Music) (Liesert 2018, pp. 20-27, pp. 93-328; Bruscia and Grocke 2002; Bonny 2002; Grocke 2019).

The induction contained sentences that encouraged focusing on oneself and listening to music. In each session two pieces of music with each having different characteristics were played. They followed an all-encompassing theme, an overarching topic. The music pieces originated from different genres, such as classical, klezmer or jazz. If one wanted to assign them to categories in terms of their challenge for the listener, that would be the category of supportive music or mixed supportive-challenging music (Bonde 2019).

For sketching, the participants had prepared a sheet of A3 paper with a circle on it (the so-called mandala) and wax crayons, whereby they were free to use the circle or to turn over the sheet of paper. During the induction, whilst listening to music and drawing, all participants opted for turning off the camera. After drawing two participants each met in the so-called break-out room in order to exchange their listening-experiences, using their drawings to do so. Within the session the pairing stayed the same so they could share the inner process during the first and second piece of music. However, the pairs were newly arranged from session to session, so that everyone had an exchange with everyone else. In the sharing with all participants at the end of the session everyone showed their pictures and reported their experiences about the whole course of the session.

A special feature of the session was the relatively fixed time structure. Although the session was meant to offer a space that invited to personal experiences, at the same time it was meant to protect against diving too deeply into the unconscious and the affect becoming too difficult to endure. This was to take into account the fact that the participants were back at home immediately after the session.

Back to Morphology

The music-imagination sessions consisted of alternating methodical elements: induction – listening to music with imageries – mandala drawing – conversation. This is followed by a repetition of the whole with a concluding conversation. The induction leads to a state of consciousness that is slightly different from everyday consciousness, such as day-dreaming. A sentence often used in inductions is: „Let the music take you where you need to go.“ Another variant could be: “Let the music take you where it is good for you to be.”

These sentences, which lead into listening to music, contain an attitude that is expressed with the phrase: allow yourself to surrender to the music.

The term contains at least two steps: including a silent decision to oneself to open up to the music and to the possibility of inner movements. The decision enables the giving of oneself to the music and let the music bring oneself to new experiences or to encounter what is happening with the help of the music. Mårtenson-Blom has also reflected on the process of surrender, beyond music: „The process of surrender is often made tangible and real through verbs like to wait, to open, to receive, to let go, to meet, to give in, to wake, to listen, to follow, to allow. These words tell us about ways of being and doing [emphasis in original]. They try to embrace polarities like active – passive, powerful – powerless, know – not know. They speak about ways to handle and regulate an experience, or a course of events, by moving beyond being only strategic, active, passive, totally arbitrary or victimised. These words describe ways of sharing lived experience, with people, objects, situations, contexts, and inner states like feelings and thoughts“ (Mårtenson-Blom 2014, p. 30).

Certainly there is an overlap to Morphology when Grootaers and Salber speak of an „overcome“. Because the imageries, as well as associations and dreams, have the characteristic of not being controllable by will. However, they let us experience what

is latent and “bursts out of a comprehensive mental image [emphasis in original] […]“ (Grootaers 2010, 52).

Images, feelings and thoughts emerge in the imageries while listening to the music, which sometimes lead to a feeling of well-being, but sometimes not. It is important to bear with the fact that it is unclear what is happening. Music supports the process because it is characterised by the fact that no meaning is fixed in it. Ambivalences and changes of experience are always possible (cf. Langer 1987, p. 238).

The subsequent drawing of the mandala is an intermediate step between imagery and speaking about the experience. Drawing still contains the quality of „surrendering to something“, but now anchored differently in everyday consciousness. In a way, it prolongs the experience of imagining, as the impressions are still very present and tangible. In imagery – even in the abstract – everything that belongs to it – the feelings, the atmosphere, the sensory perceptions such as a smell – remains present for the listener. Later, too, he knows this when he looks at his sketch.

In addition to witnessing each other’s experience while sharing in pairs, it was extremely helpful that all participants in this course brought with them: the therapeutic competence of tracing an experience and then associating about meanings. They all mutually benefited from this. New

perspectives emerged not only through sharing their own imageries and the mandalas but also through the sharing and reflections of their respective partner. These exchanges were also gratefully received.

The course

I am reporting on a course that consisted of seven participants, including six women (Ms N, Ms R, Ms I, Ms E, Ms A and Ms J) and one man (Mr M). The age of the participants ranged over a wide spectrum. All participants are graduated music therapists and almost all of them work in this field. They live in different cities in Germany. To preserve anonymity, they do not appear with their names.

The start of the course

At the beginning, as part of getting to know each other, everyone shared something about themselves and their situation with regard to Corona. There were differences, but also similarities. Almost everyone reported a feeling of fear and worry about getting infected with Corona, whether for themselves or family members and friends.

Concern about bringing the disease to families or patients was also expressed. For example, Ms. N reported that she privately cares for her mother, who is over 80 years old, and professionally looks after children with oncological diseases: „The fear is constantly present.“

The concern was not always directly about contracting Corona, but also about the wider circumstances. Even living with several people, Mr M was concerned about how much his siblings, who, unlike him, live alone, suffer from loneliness.

Most of the participants reported the challenge of having to create new concepts for work in adaptation to Corona. As Ms R said, „The flexibility to do this requires creativity, which under pressure becomes an effort.“ Others reported that the new concepts sometimes required new music therapy methods, but also invited to be tried. Working with new methods as well as dealing with the technical requirements for successful online communication was accepted as a challenge as well as a personal enrichment by all participants.

With regard to relationships with others, there were different aspects. For example, Ms. N regretted that she had not been able to go to family funerals to say goodbye to the deceased at the time.

Work-wise, an impediment to building therapeutic relationships was reported, due to wearing the mouth-nose protection. Ms R said, „I am feeling the patients less and have to make more of an effort to make visible what I am feeling or thinking.“

Nevertheless, most participants observed an intensification of relationships in both private and professional areas. Some patients were specifically grateful for their treatment. The elimination of patient groups or their reduction and the increase of patient contacts in the dyad were perceived as a relief. The distancing commands ensured an automated proximity-distance regulation, which was perceived as helpful in the case of patients who are inclined to be intrusive or find keeping their distance challenging.

The jointly carried burden led to a feeling of togetherness in the collegium as well as in the family. If collegial meetings were possible, they were particularly appreciated.

The intensification of partnership and family relationships was also named as a new relationship quality. For example, Ms A reported on the valuable time spent with her grandchildren. Mr M spoke of the close relationship with his young daughter.

Nevertheless, the longing for qualities of togetherness that had to be foregone remained: occasional meetings by chance, the relaxed togetherness over a meal or coffee, and the option of simply embracing someone.

Self-care activities – with and without reference to music – were also named as a loss: Singing together in the choir, playing an instrument in the orchestra, going to a concert or going dancing were greatly missed. But sport was also missing: Ms. E, for example, went swimming regularly, which was not possible and led to tension. Other participants, on the other hand, finally succeeded in doing sports thanks to new spaces.

It became clear that familiar resources were lost and missing. However, the loss of familiar opportunities created free spaces that made it possible to turn to oneself. The participants agreed: „Calmness and deceleration have occurred.“ They also became more aware that(comma) and where stresses occurred, vulnerability was created, (no comma) and situations at work then came too close. It became more apparent who is really important and to whom one is connected in love. It became apparent who appreciates their work. It became apparent that gardening and trying out recipes can be fun. Questions about long-time life planning also became more apparent.

Ms N says: „By not having events, there was a breathing space that led to thinking about what I really want and what is too much.“

How did the course progress? Could it be supportive for the participants and the specific situation during the Corona pandemic? Were there developments that had something to do with connectedness to oneself, the music and others? Here are some examples from the course.

Connectedness to others

From the first session of the course a strong feature was the emergence of a strong group coherence, which was perceived with astonishment because all sessions were held online.

The group was experienced as a good place, and there were statements such as from Ms. N: „I experience the group as a shelter.“ or Ms. E: „I experience a lot of safety in the group.“

In particular, the content of sharing caused surprise: Again and again, parallelisms in the experience, but also in the presentation of the experience were stated, but also differences that led to enrichment through the exchange.

Examples of how participants expressed themselves about the sharing in pairs are as follows. Ms J: „We had the same perception.“ Or Ms I: „We both had similar topics.“ The completed mandalas were met with curiosity. For example, Ms R said, „I felt very different, but the pictures had a connection.“ Or Ms A: „We were very close during the first drawing, which was very delicate.“ Or Ms E: „The images were very similar, we also had similar topic.“ Different experiences of imageries and each other’s perspectives enriched their own experiences and perspectives. For example, Ms E: „I didn’t know what was in my picture. My partner had an idea about it and I think it’s coherent.“

The participants were positive about the fact that the exchange was successful, also across the generations. „We were in contact also about deep emotions,“ said Ms A. Other participants‘ statements were: „The exchange was beautiful.“ „It brought so much closeness, it feels good, the contact.“ „What she told me moved me.“ And, „Discovering together what is on our mandalas was beautiful.“

That’s not to say that all feelings were positive. Unpleasant feelings were also given space and then shared. For example, in the first session of the course, Ms I definitely experienced a feeling of disconnectedness and being alone at first, which she shared first with the sharing partner and then with the whole group.

The course was carried by an atmosphere of interest, curiosity and openness to one’s own experience, but also to the experience of others. Gradually, individual themes crystallised, which led to a commonality becoming apparent, which was also named as unifying, e.g. by Ms. I: „Change is coming up for me and it’s nice that others are also in processes of change and I can share the feelings.“ These processes of change were only partly due to Corona, but in each case they were given a special note because Corona accelerated the reflection on them.

Connectedness with oneself

Corona as a common theme emerged at the beginning of the course, with the participants reflecting on how they felt about its effects. Ms. E put it this way: „It was nice to have the topic of Corona present, but not to talk about the same content for the umpteenth time.

After the music, putting the experience down on paper, gave me time and peace to get my head around it. It also did me good to be able to concentrate only on myself.“ Or Ms. R: „I find it helpful to approach the topic of Corona on a non-linguistic level. At the moment I have the feeling that everything in conversations revolves around it, but instead of arriving somewhere or at least aiming at a goal, it remains a turn in a circle. I experience the non-linguistic level as a possibility to perceive the associated emotions, but also to let them go again.“

Corona quickly receded into the background from being a central theme and the individual themes of the change processes unfolded. Ms R dealt with her role in the family of origin. She described this process as an upheaval in which she was trying to find a balance.

In Mr. M’s case – both in the imageries and in everyday life – his little daughter took up all the space. An „intense need to put myself in the centre arose. I am not within myself.“ He used the following sessions to address this.

Other participants were facing career changes. Ms I was moving from employment to self- employment, Ms N was thinking about reducing her enormous workload.

Ms E was in the process of changing from music education to music therapy as a professional focus and Ms A was facing retirement in the foreseeable future. All these emotionally upsetting processes of change were given space in the sessions of the course.

Connectedness with music

For all participants, music has an important meaning. They were aware, that it helped them to put aside the functionality of everyday life and enter realms of the latent. For example, Ms. N said quite appreciatively about this process: „The music throws the superego aside.“ Ms. J, when asked what caused the „very strong feeling of being carried“, replied, „The instrument, the slow chords, the fullness that seeped into me.“ Ms E described, „First there was frustration, now more curiosity. The change occurred through the music.“

Ms I also described a change through the music experience. In the first piece I very much felt the liveliness. I was more within myself, with the second piece I was more in the outside. It was a stark difference.“ In another session, she also described a change that was already apparent in the first of the two pieces of music: „The first piece was exhausting, super super-irritating and annoying. Then the breakthrough came, the sun came through and the annoying didn’t matter so much anymore.“ She put it this way:

 

Title: Everything will be better from now on

Then she continued: „The second piece totally got me, I love it, in its simplicity and plainness. I couldn’t get enough: just be there, simply enjoy.“

Ms J also reported something unpleasant in a piece of music, but then continued: „The disturbing thing in the melody brings energy, draws attention to new things, and leads to new ways of seeing.“ Trust in the music led to deeply felt emotions. Individual participants reported feeling „strong aliveness“ and „joy of life” or even: „The music has invigorated me.“ The change during the sessions was also perceived physically. For example, headaches eased (Ms E) and tension was reduced (Ms A).

Certain pieces of music reminded participants of their own abilities. For example, they imagined playing an instrument themselves. Ms J reported, „I physically perceived it, I played the piano myself.“ Ms. E reported a wish: „Piano is my background, I wanted to play along, the lightness was so nice.“

Situations in which certain pieces of music were played were also recalled. For example, when listening to the Prelude of Cello Suite No. 1 in G major (BWV 1007) by Johann Sebastian Bach, Ms A recalled, „When my son got married and received the church blessing, someone played a piece from a cello suite. I cried, it was so solid, so close. At first I didn’t think it was possible to draw, it was too big. Then I thought: it’s round and that’s what I drew. In the middle is the light, for feeling safe. It’s a view of where it’s going, a round thing, so close, just being.“

Ms E expressed her deep connectedness to music by saying, „I go through a gate and enter the realm of music […] I am glad being at home through music. It speaks to me openly.“ While listening to music during a session, she was able to use it for herself in this way: In her upheaval „everything was totally too much. I’m preoccupied with where I want to go in music therapy. I’m totally stretched and want new things. I had to make decisions.“ And then she continues, „The music decided!“ At the same time, she perceived a feeling of being overwhelmed that was so strong that it felt like a threat. In the next session, she managed to give the feeling of being overwhelmed a space. „It’s stressful right now. It’s good to feel what’s stressful. And that it’s natural that it’s stressing. It’s going wild right now. I need to rest.“

Of course, the classification into the three areas of connectedness with oneself, with music, and with others, as made here, is an artificial one. As the examples show, the transitions are fluid.

Even with the morphological understanding of images it is not always so simple. Imageries while listening to music can express themselves in visual images, but also in kinesthetic perceptions. But finally with the mandala – very concretely – there is a picture. But it is a mistake to think that this is a picture of the mental or the unconscious – it goes beyond that. As a methodical part of the session, it completes the images (understood morphologically) that highlight the mental inter-relationships of affects (sf. Grootares 2010, 64, cited after Salber 2010). Even though what is depicted as usually clear, in a concrete way, ultimately the shown only becomes truly recognizable and understandable in the process – for example, of tracing and reflecting together with another person and then with the whole group (cf. Grootaers 2010, 63; Salber 1983).

As the latter statement by Ms E shows, an important step in the process is a coherent feeling of insight: „A ‚That’s how it is‘ becomes available […]“ (Grootaers 2010, 66). Nothing happens externally, but clarity emerges internally, even if it is painful. It opens in the long-term for processes of transformation.

Last session: Transformation and Transcendence

How did the upheavals and transformations established themselves during the course? The last session of the course will serve as an example. The first piece of music the participants listened to was Raoui by Souad Massi (Raoui, Raoui, Souad Massi, 2002). It is a piece that addresses someone else, with the request to tell a story, whilst describing story-telling as such at the same time. Souad Massi is an Algerian singer. In this piece she accompanies herself on the guitar. The second piece chosen was Kothbiro by Ayub Ogada (Music from the Coffee Lands, 1997). The piece is about the rain that is coming and the cattle that have to be brought home. Ayub Ogada sings the piece in

Dholuo, a language spoken in western Kenya. In the accompaniment he plays the Nyatiti, an African plucked instrument.

Both pieces were intended to offer participants an opening, moving out of the course which was finishing and out of the Corona pandemic, into new perspectives, into the world.

The final sessions date was a Saturday, between Good Friday and Easter Sunday. The participants paired up with their initial sharing partner from the first session.

Ms. N found the last session very touching and related to religious, spiritual themes. „I had similar sensations as in the first session. I am lying in a meadow, I have ground under me, I am in connectedness, in nature. The music is touching, also protective. The woman’s voice laments, struggles for confidence. […] The male voice is warming, also spiritual. It’s about love and connectedness. I thought of the others in the course. It was about a transgenerational theme. I was enriched by the view of my partner, Mrs R, who belongs to a younger generation.“

Ms R drew the sheet of paper all the way to the edge in a bright turquoise. „This represents faith and confidence. I’ve really worked so hard and doing this is a way of creating hope. If that is possible, the strength is also there again. It’s a step towards a new beginning. What’s so great is that it’s an in- between, a transition, spiritually. The music was protective and the opening, the singing was so intimate. With both songs, the voice spoke directly to me. It was about me and the generational connectedness, transgenerational, it’s a colourful garment: all that was and all that I have in me – from myself and from my parents – a transition.“

Ms J, who is originally from an Asian country, exchanged views with Mr M. „It’s a transition. They would have both laughed! „We both had a campfire! I was thinking about the last holiday that I went on with my husband in our van. We travelled, it was really nice. We had campfires.” In the second piece of music there was a change. „First there were cherry blossoms, but with the male voice came winter. I didn’t want that. Then came a wide landscape, mountains, sunset. Although the language [of the singing in the piece of music, R.L.] was foreign to me, I had a feeling of being home. It felt so familiar, as if my grandma was telling me something. It was just beautiful and surprising. The last week was very upsetting for me emotionally. My mind was actually somewhere else, but the feeling of being grounded is where I was born. […] I’m now more aware of heritage again as part of my identity and therefore I feel more grounded.“

Mr M, Ms J’s sharing partner, found himself right by the campfire during the first piece of music. “Actually there was a tent there too, I didn’t draw that. But Ms J drew the tent, I thought that was nice. At first I was there all alone. Then I deliberately brought in the children and my girlfriend. I looked into the tent to see if the children were asleep. It was very warm. Then I moved away from Earth, went into space, flew away from the earth. It felt spiritual. Then there was a woman’s body surrounding Earth. But I also have worries about the future, how it will be on Earth, how it will be for the children on Earth.“

Ms E perceived „opening and widening“. „Through the voice I felt connected to individuals and in the world, in foreign languages and cultures. I was happy: through music there are so many possibilities: Contact and closeness to the whole world, understanding in life and also surprises!“ Unlike the sessions before, Ms A felt calm and heavy. „Yet there was a lightness that I associate with gardening in spring now. A lot is blooming now, so I am blooming with it too. A woman in chiffon was dancing. Then I had nothing in my head for a while and came to an image of the desert and vastness. The vastness is security, strength, safety, with a very wide view. Feeling-wise I am now quite calm, in another land.“

Finally, Ms I is remembering the beginning of the course and what has been similar and different throughout the sessions. Ms I felt particularly strongly the difference between the two pieces of music, which different parts of herself could connect with. During the period of the course she quit a job. The ambivalent feelings that accompany goodbyes and new beginnings found their place in the sessions.

About the very last session she said: „There was peace in talking about the imagery together. In the past week I have been confronted a lot with old issues. One of these issues is that I am sorting a lot out alone by myself. But now I have talked about myself. I have felt held and safe. Last session’s

sun is also in the drawing. A mother is hugging her child. Both are there and the child almost disappears in the mother’s embrace.“

Title: Safe

I recognised the second piece of music right away. I associate it with my mother. We danced along to this music in the living room. This is the moment after being held and being safe: The dance of life continues. In the first session there was also a dance, but it was different, energetic. The dance now is peaceful and flowing.“

Title: That’s how the dance continues

Epilogue – Outlook

I hope it has become clear what impressive experiences and developments have been made and emerged during the course.

The course was carried by an atmosphere of curiosity, interest, appreciation and adventurousness. Of course there were technical irritations, which were met with patience.

The current situation’s uncertainty in regards to Corona aside as well as individual upheaval, the surprises that the sessions provided were met with joy: What kind of music will be listened to, what will happen during listening to the music, during drawing mandala and who will be the next partner to ’share‘ with.

Although the longing for face-to-face meetings and also the tiresomeness of online meetings were mentioned at the beginning, everyone took well to the set-up. As I have tried to demonstrate, this led to deep individual processes, kept safely in a sense of group coherence.

Being an excellent experience, this adventure is inspiring new options and experimental possibilities regardless of Corona. The same format or something similar can be a good offer for self-care especially for music therapists, but also for people in other helping professions. The medium of music is not only a resource for music therapists. As friends and acquaintances report, music is an important part of their lives. Potentially people without a strong connectedness to music could discover it and help to get in touch with the unconscious, their own intuition and creativity.

As on several occasions the participants in the course said, the very fact that they had time to themselves was of great value. In the context of such a set-up, deceleration is possible, which leads to a mental state of mind in which manifest and latent emerge and implement itself as a “arrangenemt of images, as a complete world of affects” (Grootaers 2010, 51). Something stuck becomes conscious and can find transformation.

In the future, self-awareness groups, supervision, intervision etc. could take place in person again, but also online, as an additional possibility. The online set-up is different, but can be quite supportive for personal developments with affective, also ambivalent, significant perceptions.

Feelings of being carried within the group as the example described above shows, also arise online. Therefore experiences of self-care are possible in the online sessions, but also ideas for self-care beyond the course.

The positive factors of this set-up can continue to be valuable beyond the time with Corona regulations: time-saving and reducing travel expenses, so that colleagues who live further away from the infrastructures of larger cities can benefit. The thought of the Earth’s resources may also play a role as an aspect in a decision for an online set-up for self-care. The course described here has attracted curiosity for further experiences online and inspired ideas for new concepts.

A big thank you goes to the participants of the course for their trust. They gave their consent for publication. I also thank those who were involved in the preparation: The Doctoral Colloquium of the University of Münster under the direction of Prof. Dr. Rosemarie Tüpker, who agreed to give a trial session, Prof. Lars Ole Bonde, PhD. who reflected on the concept with me and Katharina and Joachim who tried out Zoom functions with me and listened to and discussed all the pieces of music chosen for the course.

 

1 Quotations by Grootaers, Reddemann, Küchenhoff and König are translated by the author. The other quotations are originally written in English.

2 As a methodical means to reach the comprehensibility and visualisation of the method of living with its translucent image of effect, „seemingly disparate media of expression“ are helpful.

3 GIM is the abbreviation for „Guided Imagery and Music“, a method developed by Helen Bonny. After a preliminary talk, an induction leads to relaxation and concentration on one’s own perception. The lying client imagines to music and meanwhile is in verbal contact with the therapist. After the imagination a sketch is made. In the post talk, the experience is recalled and explored (cf. Bonny 2002).

4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ssKIjeGY_Lg, accessed 23 March 2020